Archive for 'Judgments'

Understanding & Expressing

Understanding & Expressing

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”    -Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you feel relaxed and open when someone is simply listening to you? You can offer others your presence and understanding too. Here are a few steps that might support you:

  • Presence: Begin by taking three breaths. You will find them refreshing and grounding.
  • Intention: Decide in the moment to listen.
  • Tune in: As if you are a radio, ...
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Awareness of thoughts

It is quite exceptional to be aware of a thought as it arises, occurs, and falls away. Generally we are not aware of our thoughts, yet we believe them, react to them, and live from them over and over again. It may sound outrageous to imagine yourself feeling happy or excited because you noticed a thought arise and fall away, and you didn’t get swept away by it. I assure you that being aware of a thought as it arises ...

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It’s in the return!


As we practice meditation, we have the opportunity of returning to awareness over and over. The practice is “in the return” (Sharon Saltzberg).

When I first began meditating (vipassana or insight meditation) I would become frustrated when I had been lost in a river of thoughts. I wondered why the thoughts plagued me so much, and why I couldn’t just enjoy a nice, quiet, peaceful meditation.

When I would become aware that I ...

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Beneath NO is Life

April 2013

I have been studying the energy of NO and how it feels to step fully into saying NO.
Often, the first thoughts that arise are about what “they” will think if you say NO.  Next, you might notice your internal judgment about saying NO.

I invite you to take a moment and clearly connect to these parts of your self.  Each part is distinct, thoughts of: they, internal judgment, and NO.

First, the part of yourself that has concerns about what others (they) will think. ...

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Poetry – The Barbed Wire Effect of Judgments

Poetry – The Barbed Wire Effect of Judgments

These are not flowers
for picking or smelling.
They are for
trapping, entangling.

Once caught, there’s a
binding, a holding.
As if in reality,
we’re lost without knowing.

About the moment of freedom
there’s a rebound,
a reaching out,
a catching again.

What does it want?

As I use my strength
to roll it up,
it recoils.
I untangle.

I stand and say
once again

I pull it up
from the root,
untangle, and finally
roll it up.


May ...

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Speak Your Appreciation

It seems this is the time of year for counting our blessings.

My intention in writing this article is to support you in clearly expressing to others how your LIFE has been enhanced by their action(s).

Before beginning I want to bring to light two things:

  1. Every moment is an opportunity to feel grateful.
  2. How you actually speak your appreciation will determine to a large extent how the other person hears and receives your message.

I have heard expressions of appreciation that have sounded something ...

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Seeing Clearly

Seeing Clearly

“The first component of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) entails the separation of observation from evaluation.  We need to clearly observe what we are seeing, hearing, or touching that is affecting our sense of well-being, without mixing in any evaluation.”  (Marshall Rosenberg)

The more I work with untangling my observations from my evaluations (making meaning of things) the less I find that my observations have anything to do with my sense of well-being.  I am finding what is actually affecting is my sense ...

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Judgments – The Comfort of Labels

July 2011

Labeling seems normal in our culture:  It is common in our culture to classify others by labeling them, to judge by deciding what is right and wrong or good and bad and then to assign blame.  This was a normal part of the way I was raised, and I find it typical in my daily interactions with others.  Think about how these three (labeling, judging and blaming) seem ...

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Judgments – Peace of Mind – Peace in the World

June 2011

I want peace of mind and peace in the world, and I am guessing if you are reading this so do you.  The question is, why don’t we have peace?  I believe what is in the way of peace for you, for me, and for everyone on the planet is what we are thinking.  It isn’t the thoughts themselves, it is that we actually believe them.  And it ...

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Judgments – Transforming Your Inner Judgments

FlowersApril 2011

When you regret something you said or did: I am guessing, from time to time we all regret some action we have taken.  The question is “what thoughts do you have about your actions”?  Generally, we have a certain way we talk to ourselves, or attempt to “educate” ourselves when we are disappointed in our own behavior.  For many of us, it is common for us to blame ourselves (I ...

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