I have begun to gather my favorite empathy quotes. Please add your ones here to share.
What is Empathy?
A respectful understanding of another’s experience. - Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
It feels good…
When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without taking responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. When I have been listened to, when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable become relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. -Carl Rogers
Surfing Life Energy and Watching the Magic Show
Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you’re on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. Are you with that energy right now? That’s empathy. No words – just being with that energy. When I connect with what’s alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I’m surfing.
To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you’ve studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn’t mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what’s alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?
If you think ahead to what to say next – like how to fix it or make the person feel better – BOOM! Off the board! You’re into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that’s here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it’s like I wasn’t there. I call this “watching the magic show.” In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my “fix-it” tendencies. - Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
“Two parts of empathy: Skill (tip of iceberg) and Attitude (mass of the iceberg).” - Unknown
“Empathy takes time, and efficiency is for things, not people.” -Stephen Covey
The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. –Thich Nhat Hanh
