My Approach to Mediation
I approach each mediation situation with ideas of possibility and care for everyone involved. From experience I know that mediation can be a powerful process. People experiencing conflict can transform the struggle of conflict and disagreement (experience the situation differently) in the process of mediation. As a mediator, I offer my skills to support individuals in difficult situations understand and hear what is really important and find collaborative solutions together.
Relationships, whether family, marriage, divorce, business or the like, can be extremely difficult, sometimes to the point of stimulating pain and conflict. At the very least, pain and conflict increase the complexity and difficulty of the situation. I trust that, at a minimum, every situation can result in compromise and I support and empower each individual to make informed decisions for themselves and their situation.
As a transformative mediator, my foundation is Nonviolent Communication (NVC) sometimes known as Compassionate Communication. My first goal is to support each individual participating in the mediation to meet their needs. I see myself as holding a container of possibility for the participants and the situation. I believe that it is possible for each participant to resolve the situation feeling satisfied and even happy as they each move forward in their lives.
As a Certified Public Accountant since the early 1990′s, then earning a Masters of Divinity and becoming an ordained minister, as well as having extensive mediation training, and currently training others to become mediators, I have an extensive and rare range of skills and I am comfortable with each of the three models of mediation listed below.
Mediation in General
Mediation is a process that supports individuals resolve conflict and make decisions and agreements about their situation together. Generally people seek out mediation because they are having difficulty talking about and resolving the issues themselves or because they have been court ordered to do so. A key principle of mediation is that individuals know their situation best and will not only be able to make the best decisions for themselves, but will be more satisfied with the decisions they do make.
Often the alternative to mediation is going to court. This option is not private, and it lacks choice and collaboration for the individuals in the dispute.
Three Types of Mediation
Transformative Mediation is or can be transformative. The three foundational outcomes of this model are:
- the opportunity for each participant to be heard by the other,
- participants finding new understandings of their situation, and
- that deep healing and transformation are not only possible, they are achievable.
Because of its nature of collaboration, this model’s structure is adaptive to the participants needs. This style of mediation provides the best opportunity for a “clean slate” for each individual as they move forward in their lives in a way that they truly desire.
Facilitative Mediation is as its name implies, is facilitative. The mediator is in charge of the process, not the outcome, but the process. One of this model’s foundations is that the structure provided supports the individuals to reach an agreement. When emotions are charged and painful, this model provides safety in its structure as parties move forward to resolution.
Evaluative Mediation is modeled on settlement conferences held by judges. In this model, unlike transformative and facilitative, the mediator is a decision-maker, either formally or informally. This model can be helpful when the parties cannot reach an agreement or if the situation is of a contractual matter.
