September 2010
As a young adult the phrase ”don’t judge or you will be judged” had been proven true to me over and over again. My burning question was, “How did they know I was judging them?” After all, I had not said a word to anyone. For years I held this question and searched for an answer.
I have come to understand that there is an energy attached to judgments that others feel. Whether there is awareness or not, this energy is felt by others and responded to. Usually, in my experience, it is responded to in a way that I do not enjoy.
The strategy of disconnecting from our own internal experience and focusing on what is “wrong” with someone else (our judgments) seems to be a defense to protect us from feeling pain. However it doesn’t seem to be working. In my experience judgments seem to be the cause of much pain and suffering. One judgment can lead to a repeated cycle of pain and separation that can last for years, a life time, and into future generations.
So what is a judgment? A judgment is basically what we decide something means. It is our evaluation. Then to complicate matters, we entangle what we actually see or hear (an observation) with what we think it means (our judgment or evaluation). Then in our minds this mixture becomes a memory that we access and respond to sometimes over and over again as if it is happening in the current moment.
I am not saying that judgments are not BAD. They actually hold vital information for us that can lead to our freedom from suffering. We can explore them to discover what we believed something meant, what needs of ours are not being met or are being met, what our true desires are, or a host of other insights that hold keys to our true happiness.
An important distinction is to know what we are holding as a judgment and what is an observation. Then to be willing to untangle the judgments from the observations. An Indian philosopher said that the highest from of human intelligence was observing without evaluating.
I am finding this untangling of judgments from observations quite enjoyable and liberating.
Until next time,
Blessings, Love, and Peace Matters
Lori
